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The RG - 376 Instatel Adapter Brace - Instruction manual

Congratulations on your purchase of the The RG - 376 Instatel Adapter Brace! This device is an excellent addition to any industrial laboratory, log cabin, dentist's office, or 2500 square foot home with 2-4 children.
If your package does include four tiny random screws that holds the device together, please purchase the deluxe RG - 376 Internal Adapter Brace Ultra, which includes a coupon for the four tiny random screws.


Quick Assembly Instructions 

1. Arrange the separate components in a series of neat little piles.

2. Place the basic detach component…mmm…let’s say five or six centimeters apart from… actually let’s play it safe and go with six…apart from the actual brace. Use three suspender spokes to contact the two pieces. Use four if you have a lot of overweight people over for outdoor barbeques.

2. Oil up phallic protrusion F and gently place it in softy furry mound 6. If protrusion F receives any resistance (or no resistance at all) from mound 6, proceed to violently thrust protrusion F without concern or mercy (no snickering please, this is a serious matter).

3. Unhinge rod a with root bumper d and bend at a ninety two degree angle with eight gauge pliers so it sits in a tandem line with the lot space 45 on the keystone hook. Upon nailing down the second flag pin to the obstruction value twist the placement cork into the tired grandfather position until you hear a despondent click. Under certified supervision place one foot on the dumper and glue the serum to the neck of super fun glad show, Tuesday 9 Osaka TV! No missing create no tears! Enjoy plus dumpling!

4. At this point, it is advised you stare hard at the image of the brace on the front of the box and wing it. See that spot in the back where the three joints meet? Use a flathead screwdriver.

5. If you are not injured, congratulations and please call our support number for a tow truck and a new pair of socks. By this step, you’ll know why.


Quicker assembly instructions

1. Assemble

2. Upon completion, admire your dominance over nature and the deity if your choice

4. Press ‘on’ button*


*- If brace does not turn on, do not panic: remove batteries with stone chisel and replace with a fresh pair. NOTE: Your definition of fresh batteries may differ from the definition set in place by Krantec Industries and its affiliates. For a list of batteries approved for freshness by Krantec Industries and its affiliates, please attend our annual shareholders conference in Chicago this December at the Long John Silver’s in the Howard Johnson’s near the airport. Book now! Spots fill up fast!


Do not:

-Do not use if you own a neutered dog weighing more than fifty seven pounds.

- Unless traveling through star gate or fighting crazed homeless drug addict, do not press the large shiny red button on the bottom of the device.

-Do not assemble under the influence of alcohol unless it's a fine single malt scotch, which without a doubt adds an aura of refinement to any soiree.


-when the sun is up, this product is not a toy.
-[use overweight people at barbeque]
-aim away from face if happy with appearance of face.
-her life is in your hands. they wanted me to repeat that, dude. her life is in your hands.

-When the elderly use the device, please provide them with a bib.

-Anyone who comes in physical contact with the device after having visited a pig farm in the last month may be subject to an electric shock and police fine.

-Please feel free to send us pictures of your cute toddler playing amongst the barbed wire adjustments. We are making a scrapbook at the office.


Warranty expires upon completion of this sentence (regardless of whether read aloud or silently in head).



If you are intending to use this device in any location outside of North America, Europe, Japan, and Australia, your local emergency response system may not respond in a sufficient amount of time in the event of a malfunction bonus function. On the advice of our lawyers, we highly recommend immigration. And even if you’re in one of the locations listed above, we advise you play it safe. Use device in a well ventilated area within ten minutes of a government approved hospital or methadone clinic.


For the sake of our shareholders, Krantec Industries does not accept any responsibility for the functioning of the device – expected or otherwise – once your fingers have touched the box.


No children were exploited in the making of this product. None that didn't deserve it, anyway.

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