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Two People, One Sign (or TWO ACTORS PLUS SIGNS) ONE A young man and an old woman walking through the woods on a gnarled and rocky path. The young man routinely has to slow down to wait (or help the old woman). They eventually come to a large, damaged highway sign leaning against a downed tree. It reads: 'Birmingham', and below that, 'Next Three Exits'. Below that, someone has spray painted 'no fat chicks'.
Young Man What does it say?
Old Woman It doesn't matter. It doesn't belong here.
Young Man Do you need your glasses?
Old Woman (irritably) No. It says Birmingham. Next Three Exits.
Young Man (studying this pointlessly) I've never been to Birmingham.
Old Woman It's a prank of some sort.
Young Man What?
Old Woman Some foolish people brought this sign here.
Young Man Why? Who would do that?
Old Woman Foolish people.
Young Man To confuse us?
Old Woman No. (she takes a deep breath) It doesn't matter. Let's go.
Young Man (gesturing to the graffiti) What that's writing down there?
Old Woman (beginning to walk again) That matters even less. Come.
After a moment, and a final glance, the young man goes to help the old woman and they walk off together.
TWO A sign on the side of a rural road. It reads: 'Fresh Strawberries', and below that, '5 Minutes'. Two scuzzy looking young men with backpacks and plenty of tattoos on their arms walk along the shoulder of the road. They stop in front of the sign.
One The fuck.
Two You got a problem with strawberries?
One I got a problem with shit signs.
Two No one around here is gonna pick us up in a million years and you're worried about being lied to about fruit?
One You think that's five minutes by foot or by car?
Two Car. This is car country.
One They should say a mile. Or two miles. However far it is, not give some random thing like time.
Two You seem really bitchy. You should try some fresh, juicy strawberries.
One Fuck off.
Two And look! Only five minutes away.
One begins to ignore Two and sticks his thumb out along the side of the road, even though no cars are forthcoming.
Two Hey I agree, it's a dumb sign, but I mean really, who cares?
One doesn't respond, and starts to walk slowly down the road.
Two Maybe if we hang out here and someone stops we can tell them we only want to go five minutes ahead to the strawberry place.
One (calling) I told her we'd be in town by nightfall.
Two (walking down the road) You bring fresh fruit and she won't care when you show up.
THREE A young couple is walking through a large city park at dusk. They are holding hands, and she is carrying a picnic basket in her other, and he is holding a rolled up blanket in his. They seem to be happily lost in each other.
Woman But you didn't actually say that, did you?
Man No, of course not, not those exact words, anyway. And that made all the- woah, look at that.
He gestures to a sign in front of them. It says, 'Watch for Ducks', with a simple illustration of a duck below the words.
Woman (playfully) It's a good thing we found it. Until this moment, I hadn't been watching for any ducks.
Man (he goes and stands in front of her) None at all?
Woman Unh-uh.
Man (kisses her) Lawbreaker. (kisses her again)
Woman The worst kind of criminal.
Man Those ducks did nothing to you.
Woman You don't know everything about my past.
Man (grinning) There was a sordid affair one summer many years ago.
Woman I was young and in love. I barely knew right from wrong...
Man And then this dashing mallard...
Woman He broke my heart.
Man Ripped it apart like tiny pieces of bread.
Woman And I cooked him up with shallots, leeks, and risotto rice.
Man Delicious...you she-devil.
Woman I guess I need to watch for ducks.
Man You better.
They continue walking down the path. She puts her head on his shoulder.
FOUR A residential street at night. A man (Brian) is pushing a wheelchair with an unconscious person (Ted) sitting in it. There is a black hood over Ted's head, and both his hands are handcuffed to the wheelchair. Brian looks irritated but determined. They eventually reach a four way intersection. Brian looks to the street signs above, then frowns. He digs out a crumpled piece of paper, uncrumples it, stares at it, then stares at the sign.
Brian Shit. (he leans over Ted's body) Wake up. (smacks his head) Hey! Wake up!
Ted (muffled) Huh?
Brian yanks the hood off. Ted appears a bit dazed and looks around slowly.
Ted Where-
Brian You tell me. Sign says Valley Ridge Trail. Drummond's notes says 'Ridge Valley Boulevard'. What do we do now?
Ted Valley Ridge... Trail?
Brian Is it the same thing? Did Drummond just make a mistake?
Ted Drummond...I don't know what Drummond meant...
Brian This is your 'hood, man. Are we on the right street or not?
Ted I mean, yeah...probably.
Brian Probably?
Ted Well I don't know any Ridge Valley Boulevard or whatever he said it is.
Brian You ain't lying to me?
Ted No.
Brian I'll fucking push this thing over and leaves you for the wolves if you're lying to me.
Ted There aren't any wolves around here, man.
Brian It's just a saying. (digging a syringe out of his jacket pocket) Here, take it easy.
Ted (struggling weakly) Aw, no. Just wait for-
Brian stabs the syringe in Ted's neck and Ted quickly passes right out.
Brian That's better. Quiet. (he puts the hood back on Ted's head) Nice and quiet.
He begins pushing the wheelchair again and turns left at Valley Ridge Trail.
FIVE Alice - in a business attire and a sharp looking coat - is standing in a run down apartment that's quite messy and has many horde-like qualities. Furniture is overturned, old cardboard boxes are everywhere and overflowing with stuff. She is looking at a wall that we cannot see. She is wearing latex gloves.
Alice Shit.
Teresa (dressed similarly) enters the apartment carrying two coffees.
Alice What's shit? (looks around) Oh. Everything.
Teresa goes over to Alice and hands her one of the coffees.
Alice Thanks. (she sips in gingerly) He's over here.
Alice leads Teresa to one corner of the room (Teresa glances briefly at the wall Alice was staring at). Alice stands above something in the corner that we cannot see, except that the camera shot allows us to see a pair of dress shoes, tips up. Teresa get closer, crouches, and removes a cotton swab and a vial and dabs it out of shot.
Teresa Wallet still on him?
Alice Eight hundred dollars. And a black Amex.
Teresa And an apparent a weakness for rent boys.
Alice A twenty year old drifter in a bus station bathroom, an old woman in a suburban nursing home and now a closeted millionaire visiting skid row.
Teresa (gesturing to the wall) And that's the only connection.
The two of them are looking at the wall. Upon it is a hanging stop sign, with the words 'me if you can', scrawled in blood beside the sign.
Alice I’ll take it over the ‘dead end’ one at the bus station. What's the radio chatter? Are the police on the way?
Teresa We have about fifteen minutes.
Alice I've already taken some photos, sent them to Lisa, she should be crunching them.
Teresa If she's got her coffee.
Alice And hasn't gotten back together with Rich.
Teresa Really?
Alice nods.
Teresa (grinning) She owes me thirty bucks. Are you done here?
Alice (nodding) You?
Teresa Yeah.
They both begin to leave the apartment. Teresa looks back.
Teresa Maybe next he can kill someone in a yacht club.
They both exit.
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\It's not hatin', it's lovin' selectively | |||